Cultural Analysis of "Stem Cell Controversy"

ClkerFreeVectorImages. "Diversity Cultures Worldwide Network Cooperation." 2012 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

In this blog post I will be doing a cultural analysis on the article, "Stem Cell Controversy." I will be talking about key words used to point out our own culture as well as finding the main points within the article.

1) What are two to three cultural key words that you feel are the most important to the overall argument of the text? 

One key word that is used a lot throughout the text is ethics. This word is the basis of the argument itself. The stem cell research can help save lives, but the issue is whether it is right to be taking these stem cells from unborn infants. As a society, we still argue about the technicalities of when a fetus actually becomes a living thing. Some say at fertilization while others say it occurs later in the pregnancy. This is an ethical issue whether it is ok to sacrifice a future life in the name of science and innovation. Is it the right of the parents to give up this embryo?

Religion is another key word that is used to talk about the debate involving sperm cells. Religious beliefs go against the idea of using human beings as a means for scientific research, even if that research may save many lives.

Another use the word cultures quite a bit as well. This they add in addition to religion because there a lot of other cultural groups out there other than religions that influence your perspective on this issue. Different countries have different cultures. The way you live and the ways in which you have been taught to live influence your ideals which influence your perspective on this event.

2)  Circle all the times these words were used. 

Ethics, or any grammatically version of the word is used 3 times.

Religion is used 1 time.

Culture is used 2 times.

3) What is the thesis for the article?

The thesis in this case would be:
The use of stem cells for scientific research is still under debate due to religious conflicts, cultural conflicts, and scientific beliefs involving contraception.

4) What are the phrases of the key words found in the text?

Ethics was used quite a bit within the text. The majority of the first paragraph revolved around ethics. "There are several ethical issues that are raised while working with stem cells. The ethical issues were addressed in a 2005 guidelines for research with human embryonic stem cells by the National Academies. This urges scientists who work with embryonic stem cells to be responsible, ethical, and sensitive in their work."
The word steps in again to talk about another aspect of the debate.
"Ethics steps in when human and animal cells are combined to create chimeras."

Religion is also used to describe a sect of individuals who do not agree with the use of stem cells for research. The actual word is only used once, but the ideals of these people are the basis of the argument.
"In addition, some cultures and religious traditions do not support the use of human life as a means to some other end despite the end being a noble one."

The word and idea of different cultures is mentioned in the text.
"In addition, some cultures and religious traditions do not support the use of human life as a means to some other end despite the end being a noble one.
"Yet other cultures support embryonic stem cell research as they believe that the embryo has a moral right as a human only after a few months on development."
Different cultures can be on opposing sides of an issue.

5) What are these key words telling us and how do they relate to the thesis?

they tell about the different factors that separate the different sides of this controversy. Religious ideals always hold people on moral high grounds and when it comes to the life of potential infants, people become very sensitive. The scientific beliefs also comes out of different cultures. A lot of people believe that science should not be used as much as it is, since it is not natural. Also, scientific beliefs come into play against religious ideals. All these ideas are the basis of the arguments and are what drive people to stick to their ideals. Your religion, culture, and ethics are what make you who you are and if you compromise those things, then you are changing who you are.

Evaluation of Rhetorical Situations

PublicDomainPictures. "Stem Cell  Sphere  Three-Dimensional Shape  Division." 2013 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

In this blog post, I will be evaluating the source talking about stem cell research.

The first source is from the News Medicine which tells you exactly what the controversy is. It is not ornately stated and is merely telling you both sides of the story how it is not only an ethical issue, but also a legal issue. Is the embryo really alive? This is also the issue involving abortions. If you have an abortion, are you really killing a living thing, or is the fetus not quite alive yet?

• The speaker is talking in a more informative tone. The author also goes on to talk about other controversies about the application of the stem cells such as cloning. The author, Dr. Ananya Mandal, MD, is a registered doctor and has had experience in the field and is knowledgable on the topic. But as being a doctor, she will be more willing to look at the benefits of the stem cell research because of the life saving potential they hold. 

• The audience in this case is a more general source because the language is not too hard to understand. It is said in simple terms and there is no need for further analysis or interpretation. 

• This article is much like a quick reference guide. It gives a summary of the issue in the beginning and continues to break down the controversies as the blog progresses. It starts with the initial problem of retrieving the sperm cells, then goes into the controversies of using the blogs. 

The next article I looked at was the stem cell information article of the UK research. It talks about both the controversies of the research but the benefits it promotes to the future of medicine. 

• The speaker is Ian Murnaghan. He has a bachelors of science with honors who specializes in stem cell research. He tells you about what stem cells are and then goes into the controversies. Then he goes on to talk about how to fix the problems that are holding back more of the stem cell research. He is obviously not a non-bias source because he is for the promotion of stem cell research. 

• The audience for this is a general source that do not need to know a lot about stem cells, but his goal seems to be to raise awareness of the issue and to persuade people to see the benefits of this research. 

• The context first introduces the topic by giving it a brief overview. He incorporated the involvement of the fetus more than the other controversial issues that involve the use of the stem cells. Once you get over removing the stem cells from the embryo, the challenges and debates are not as bad. He ends the article talking about the stem cell's great potential and that even though it might not happen soon, the benefits can be enormous. 

The final source I analyzed is from the National Institute of Health. There are multiple tabs about the stem cells and the controversies surrounding them. I honed in on the section involving potential uses of the stem cells and problems getting in the way of those research developments. 

• The author of the article is not particularly named, but it is coming from a reliable source.This is the US department of health and human services. They are promoting the research with stem cells but also identifying the challenges at hand. They are not completely unbiased.

• The audience is the general public that wants to know where the government is putting their money. It is informative to the general public but can be more helpful if you have an idea of the topic before jumping into the information. Also, you probably will be wanting information specifically on sperm cells if you manage to find this information. 

• The article uses sub titles so the information is better broken up and easier to read. There is a nice introduction along with the heading that will talk about what is in the article. It also includes hyperlinks that will give more information on specific topics that are not gone over in extent within this particular part of stem cells. There is even a visual given to further extend the knowledge of stem cells for the reader so have a better grasp on the topic. 

Reflection:

After reading Mira's blog post, I realize I could have done more background research on the author to see if there are any aspects of his life that may head to him arguing one side of the story over the other. You can infer from the articles which side the author takes, but learning more about him can help provide more information on the context of the article and more information on the author. 

I can also help include examples from the text in pertaining to the audience in why I feel the author is focusing in on a particular group of people. What makes me think that?

Namratha's blog post made me feel like I did a good amount of analyzing of the text. I am trying to work on not getting so wordy in my summaries, analysis's, and other summarizing writing, so I don't know if I would want to include a lot more information considering that the analysis can become too lengthy making it harder for me to reflect on later and others to read through. She did a good job at getting to the main idea and stating what was needed. 

Develop a Research Question

CMSRC "Students Assisting Surgery."4/1/2008 via wikimedia. Creative Commons Attribution- Share Alike 3.0 Alike 3.0 Unported.

In this blog post I will be discussing major controversies going on in medicine/ physiology fields today. I will also be bringing up questions pertaining to those controversies that I wish to find answers to or want to discuss  more on.

A new research topic that holds a lot of promise is the idea of stem cells. They are types of cells that can become any type of cell in your body. The issue is that these cells are only in fetus, which are always a controversial topic, since abortion has come into question a lot in terms of the law.

The discussion question can be, "Are the benefits of stem cell research worth the destruction and tampering with of fetus?" Here is a link to more information about the topic. This is a bigger issue because it also involves religious beliefs along with science. I am honestly curious about the progress of this topic because of the vast possibilities that this discover can uncover.

Another question should be the issue of comma patients. When do you make the call to take someone off of life support if they are pronounced brain dead? This issue also involves religious ideals. Do you keep them on life support and theoretically waste the resources, or keep them on and hang on to the possibility that they could wake up?

Another controversial issue is artificial insemination. Even though it is scientifically possible, should we continue to support this type of fertility even with the ever increasing population? I think this is an amazing accomplishment in science and I would enjoy seeing the reaction of the regular people about this jump in science and medicine.  

Reflection on Project 1

jill111. "Woman Girl Freedom Happy Sun Silhouette Sunrise." 1/2015 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

In this blog, I will be talking about how I felt about doing this project and what I, as a student, got out of the experience. 

• What challenges did you face during the Quick Reference Guide project and how did you deal with them?

I had a hard time finding the correct heading to break apart the story. I started trying to find headings then fitting the story to the headings. This didn't work. Next I ended up writing the story out and adding the headings as I went along when I felt they were most necessary. This helped with the fluidity of the events and the information in total. 

Another challenge included the language I had to use. It couldn't be too complex, but enough to get the information across in a short manner. The reader of this article does not necessarily need to be highly educated but should still understand what is going on. 

• What successes did you experience on the project and how did they happen?

I feel, after I rewrote it, I managed to get in the important information more mixed into the entire article instead of just stating the issues in the headings. I use images to better convey the meaning of the story and the challenges this issue brings about. It is a sensitive topic, and the majority of people probably see this issue from a more emotional viewpoint rather than from a practical viewpoint. This article hopefully opens their eyes to another view point on the issue. Hopefully I made the article non-bias, since personally, I feel I don't really have a side on the issue. Both arguments have a good point. It is subjective and depends much on past experiences of the individual within the conflict. 

• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did you find the most effective for your project? Why?

I introduced the topic with a story. It tells the reader the power of social media and what can be accomplished when enough people become aware of an issue. But Then I start bringing in more facts and what the actions are actually changing. 

Next I bring up the counter argument and really state why this change would become a bigger issue than what is on the surface. Yes a child's life is saved, but what does it mean for the future of the system or the adults who are being surpassed by our society's need to always help the innocent children. In the case of children, a picture is really worth a thousand words. 

I did this because most people would initially start thinking about this topic from an emotional viewpoint. I want them to first feel safe about their ideals and want to keep reading. Then I want them to start thinking big picture and see if those original ideals hold up in the end. 

• What kinds of arguments, rhetorical strategies, design choices and writing practices did you find were not effective for your project? Why?

Sometimes I feel I understated the importance of the surgery when talking about whether or not the patient can receive it. If they do not receive the surgery in time, they will most likely not make. It. But sometimes If you overstate that fact, the factual side of the argument loses value. 

• How was the writing process for this project similar to other school writing experiences you’ve had in the past?

In the past I have had to do research projects. This was similar in that respect where I had to look up information on a topic and have to figure out which angle to start the story off with. When you are talking about a current event like this, it becomes more of a story and it needs to be portrayed as such so the reader understands what is happening. I have had to write short stories which surprisingly helped me with this assignment. 

• How was the writing process for this project different from other school writing experiences you’ve had in the past?

My creative writing class helped me with this in choosing language and figuring out what order to portray it in. This starts out as a story but later leads to a bigger picture. But stories mix in the big picture more than a quick reference guide. With this type of writing, you have to make sure the reader now that they understand your point. This is an informative paper, not a paper with a deep meaning to analyze for multiple classes and write a report on. 

• Would any of the skills you practiced for this project be useful in your other coursework? Why or why not?

This paper helped me working on getting the point across quicker in easier to read language. Sometimes I try making the essay too fancy and the meaning of the sentence can get lost. With this type of writing, you are not gifted with such a luxury. This can even help with my chemistry analysis. When writing FRQ's on an exam, you need to quickly get the point, and sometimes I like to overelaborate on ideas  which often takes too much time which is not good. 

Reflection:

In Alex's reflection, it makes me realize that I am not alone in not knowing what a quick reference guide was at first and having to make some mistakes before hopefully getting it right in the end. Because it is so new, I just hope I interpreted the project right and my work is what the assignment is asking for. I have been quite stressed out with all the homework, but it has helped out for the final product. 

Swati's Reflection helped me realize how much benefit this is doing for future assignments. We really dived deep into how to research and what is the best way to get the most information. It has been good to learn how to site sources and quotes. I was always wondering if I was doing it exactly right, so hopefully I am. 

Final QRG

Ritt, Stefan. "Canada's Fireworks at the 2013 Celebration of Light in Vancouver." 7/31/ 2013 via wikipedia. GNU Free Documentation License. 

Link to the final. 

Clarity, Part 2

Kaz."Baby  Bath  Shower  Bath Tub  Child  Cute  Happy  Kid." 8/2015 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

In this blog I will be discussing more ways to help clean up the grammar in not only our quick reference guides, but for any further assignments we will have. Learning new writing techniques and brushing up on old rules is important for any writer to go through once in a while. I will be discussing mixed constructions, variety in text, tightly worded sentences, and appropriate language.

Untangling Mixed Constructions:

Mixed Constructions is when the sentence parts do not make sense together. This could be a result of a grammatical or logical error. Sometimes this can be a run on sentence or can just not make sense. The subject and predicate should fit well together correcting the "faulty predication error" and any one should avoid using "is when," "is where," and "reason... is because" since it does not always appeal well to the reader.

An example of a mixed up sentence is:
     For those who need to visit their families over the winter break pay expensive plane tickets but end up having nice family meals and enjoying new weather.

corrected sentence:
    Plane tickets become very expensive for those who need to visit their families over winter break. But they end up having nice family meals and enjoying new weather.

Provide Some Variety

You don't want your writing to become monotonous. In order to avoid this from happening,  you will want to change up the structure of the sentences in order to create more dynamics. Not all the sentences should start with the subject, then go on the verb.

Adverbial modifiers are one that are easy to move around and to change up. This can add diversity.

Changing up the sentence structure can be another way to create diversity. Different sentence structures include simple, compound, complex, and compound- complex sentences. You don't want all your sentences to be too short or too long.

Inverting your sentences can be a way to keep the reader interested as well.

Tighten Wordy Sentences

Tightening a sentence means that a sentence can be reduced in size and still hold the same meaning.

Ex. Antoine is a really special friend of my sister's that comes over a lot.
Change: My sister's boyfriend Antoine comes over a lot.

Avoid unnecessary repetition of words. Also, cut empty and inflated phrases. Sometimes using a lengthy phase to describe something is not as good as using a short or concise word or phrase. An example of this is "at this point in time" to "currently" or "now."

Also don't make the configuration of the sentence more complicated than it needs to be. Get to the point and make it. You can lose the reader if you drag the point out for too long.

Choose Appropriate Language

You have to know your audience to select the right language. For example, your Facebook or texting dialogue is very different from your essay writing. This means that you should not use specific jargon if you know not all of our audience will understand it.

Don't try to make your words too fancy if they do not need to be or can be plainly stated with less complicated vocabulary. Don't make the reader struggle more than they have to.

You also want to stay away from slang or cliche phrases. You want to seem professional if the essay demands you to be. Use the standard English language, not words that may mean different things to different people depending upon culture, etc.

Reflection on my text. 

I managed to reorganize or add in different lengths of sentences so not all the sentence were too long. I added in the sentence about Sarah's mom taking action. The sentences around it were getting confusing and long. There needed to be a break.

"Also, the case of Sarah Murnaghan, the use of social media is probably the thing that saved her life. Sarah’s mom saw an opportunity and acted. Most likely there would not have been an available pediatric lung set for her in time. For those that get the response from the public, the use of social media is quite helpful."

I also went through and shorted some other sentences so that they were not so lost and confusing. I needed to keep rereading them to fully understand them, and I am the author. 

Before: "When more people become aware of the necessities of donors through social media, more people there might be who want to become organ donors themselves."

After: "When more people become aware of the necessities of donors through social media, they might want to become organ donors themselves."

Identifying Basic Grammar Patterns

PDPics."Grammar  Grammar Magnifier  Magnifying Glass  Loupe  Book." 2014 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Going over the different kinds of sentences makes aware of the different options I have in writing. The more diversity there is in the paragraph, the more interesting it is for the reader. Dynamics in a paragraph make for a more interesting read. It allows the information to be given across in an interesting manner. Sometimes my sentences become too complex. I need to work on intermixing more simple sentences in the mix to break up the long information. This is the analysis of the paragraph I have in my quick reference guide. 

Reflection on Project 1 Draft

Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries. "Audience Fronteir Fiesta, 1950s, Audience at a Frontier Fiesta show." 1950 via wikipedia. "Courtesy of Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries."

I analyzed and provided feedback on Michael Fisher's and Chelsea York's quick reference guides. I will also be giving insight to my quick reference guide about my projected audience and the context in which my piece was written in.

Audience:

1) Who specifically will be reading this quick response guide? Who am I trying to reach my argument with?

My audience is Americans who might have an interest in the organ transplant process or need an organ themselves and looking for ways of reaching that goal faster. It is in understandable language for the general reader but goes into good detail about the topic to the point where if you wanted to read the whole thing, it makes it easier to have some interest in the topic.

People who go promoting their need of an organ on Facebook have a right for freedom of speech and expression, but the QRG brings the whole issue into perspective outside of their own individual needs. They might be pushing through the line to get their organ transplant, but what are the repercussions of those actions?

2) What are their values and expectations? Am I adequately meeting those expectations?

Many viewers thinking about this for the first time probably agree that freedom of speech should win out and allow the sad little 11 year old girl to get a new lung, but listening to the logical side of the argument, where do the exceptions to the rules end? I also address the benefits of using social media. I am writing in a way most people would understand and following along with both sides in benefits an negatives.

3)  How much information do I need to give my audience? How much background information should I provide without belittling their expertise?

I think you should include the background of the areas of the topic you are most honing in on. For example, I am talking about Facebook's effect on the issue, so I am giving a lot of context surrounding their history in this issue. You can also phrase the background information in a way that implies, "do you remember when this happened?" As long as you have context on the information you are explaining. I assumed that the audience knew very little about the history of the topic I am discussing.

4)  What kind of language is suitable for the audience?

The audience is not filled with science majors or current event fanatics, it is usually normal people. You want to write simplistically enough where the average high school graduate could understand but not so much where a dictionary is necessary to decipher the QRG.

5) What tone do I use? Do I use it consistently?

I use a more informative tone. This is a very sensitive issue since its main controversy surounds the saving or not saving of lives. If you become too emotionally invested in it, you become much more of a bias source. Since I have not been personally touched by this experience, I wrote it in more of a way that described both sides to the issue logically, rather than emotionally. It is sad that an 11 year old girl needs a lung transplant, but a 22 year old might need one too and might have missed their chance because of the influence of social media. Not everyone will end up happy no matter what decision is made.

Context:

1) What are the formatting requirements in the assignment? Did I meet them?

I discuss what is included within a QRG in my blog post QRGs: The Genre. I included a title, illustrations, images, a graph, use of white space, an analysis of my ideas, an introduction, and headings used throughout. My formatting seems to be correct, I just need to work on the context a bit more.

2) What are the common requirements of the assignment?

The common requirements include what is on the rubric for the assignment. I included both sides of the argument talking about both in great detail. I used hyperlinks, quotation, the use of titles, an analysis of the bigger meaning of the argument and many more requirements on the rubric. I can continue to work on grammar and can emphasize the actual story of the 11 year old girl better though.

3) Does my draft reflect the knowledge I learned in this class in addition to my  own ideas?

I used a lot of the information I gathered weeks prior to the assignment. Who knew that all that homework would actually have a purpose later. on. I applied the skills learned in class in reference to data gathering and analysis. I am still in the drafting process so I am not expecting a perfect paper, but that is my goal. The topic was my own idea and I became very interesting to read about. I used the example QRGs a lot throughout my writing as well.

4) Have I addressed any grammatically issues our teacher has pointed out?

I am still in the process of revising by I addressed some of them. I am glad I received pier review because other people catch mistakes in my grammar I would have never noticed after reading my paper many times. After a while, sometimes I just assume it is write and glance over it. I worked on sentence structure was well as paragraph structure that helped organize my train of thought.

Paragraph Analysis

Phillips, John F. "The 'Sunny Yellow' street door to Satin's office on busy Spadina Avenue in Toronto, August 1967." 7/31/1967 via wikipedia. Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike 3.0 Unported. 

The "sunny yellow"[23] street door to Satin's office on busy Spadina Avenue in Toronto, August 1967.
I analyzed my quick reference guide in reference to the paragraph analysis guide in the Rules for Writers text. I will be discussing what I learned from looking at my QRG from a different point of view.

My paragraph analysis made me question the need for white space versus everything necessary to include in a paragraph. For the paragraphs that include quotes, I am not sure if I should do the analysis within the same paragraph and make it longer or make a new paragraph and not make more of a conclusion at the end of the paragraph.

I do a good job at stating the intent of the paragraph in the introduction sentence. It guides the reader through the story step by step so they can follow the flow of information.

I can continue to work on little grammar details, but that will hopefully improve with more drafts and read throughs.

Clarity: Part 1

Jones, Adam. "Woman Cleaning Window." 18/6/2009 via wikimedia. Creative Commons Attribution- Share Alike 3.0 Unported. 

I will be talking about other writing methods that can be used in our quick reference guides to improve our overall performance. The four ideas I will be discussing are "Adding Needed Words," "Balancing Parallel Ideas," "Eliminating Distracting Ideas," and "Emphasizing Key Ideas." This is not only a review for me, but also an awakening to how much I really know and not even realize it. Many of these rules have almost become second nature.

Adding New Words

In compound sentences you can take out repeated words that come up in a list.

     Ex. Eric went to the store and (went) to the gym on Monday.

You don't need to include the second"went" in the sentence. In quick reference guide, you don't want to be too wordy so taking out these little unneeded words can make it easier for the reader to scan through and get the main idea of the sentence. But these words can only be omitted if the sentence follows general grammar rules.

* Add "that" if it helps to clarify.

      Ex. without that: He figured out the main solution of hydrogen was causing the explosion.

      Ex. with that: He figured out that the main solution of hydrogen was causing the explosion.

* Make sure to include comparison words in your sentence when needed

       Ex. Hellen's beaker is much cleaner than any other student's.

* Make sure you put a, an, and the when necessary. Not always necessary to put an a, an, or the in front of a thing when stating a list, but is necessary on occasion. If one of the articles in a list needs an a, then the other article needs to include an a or an as well.

      Ex. I boiled a solution of water, and a solution of ethanol.

Balancing Parallel Ideas

* Parallel ideas are ideas that can be put into a sequence within a sentence and make sense together. These ideas need to be the same grammatically. They can be expressed through single words, verbs, adjectives, adverbs or phrases.

     Ex. People who take chemistry classes also study, complain, and cry.

* But no matter what, all the words in the list need to be in grammatically parallel form.

* These parallels can be connected using different techniques:
        *  Using a coordinating conjunction (ex. and, but, or or)
        *  Using a pair of correlative conjunctions (either- or, neither-nor)
        * Using a word to introduce a comparison (than or as)

     Ex. of coordinating conjunction: My friend and I got math, english, and chemistry homework     done today.

     Ex. of correlative conjunctions: I had to either finish my chemistry homework or work on math.

     Ex. Introduce comparison: It is much simpler to do math homework than it is to write an essay.

* Repeat functions to produce clarity.

     If it is going to be a longer sentence, make sure the reader knows who you are referring to in your statements. It may help to include words like "that" within your sentences.

     Ex. Students are more likely to study the night before an exam and that energy drinks are a helpful tool in staying up later.

It still amazing me how big an impact one word can have on the entire meaning of the sentence. Reviewing a lot of these rules really makes me think about how correct my grammar

Eliminating Distracting Shifts

 *  Make sure that the entire piece is in the same point of view. There are three points of view: first person, second person, and third person. If you continue to shift between the three, it confuses the reader as to who is the narrator.

    Ex. The class and I walked around outside after getting cups of coffee. We all enjoyed the sun and the heat after sitting in a class room for 2 hours.

The verb tense has to remain the same as well. You want to avoid confusing the reader at all costs.

    Ex. Yesterday, I went to the park after I danced for a couple of ours.
All the verbs are in past tense.

 *  But the verbs' mood and the voice also have to be consistent throughout the piece as well. The audience has to remain the same.

 *  Also avoid sudden shifts from indirect to direct questions or quotations.

 *  An indirect quote is when you repeat a question without asking it as a question:
     We asked if the dog always acted so mean.

 *  And, obviously, a direct question asks the question as a question.
     Why is the sky blue?

These are ideas that I feel writers at our level understand intuitively but forget that it is an actual rule or what the rule is exactly. It is interesting for me to remember how our grammar fits into rules.

Emphasize Key Ideas

   * Make sure you draw attention to the main idea of the sentence (the subject or verb) in the independent clause. Choose subordination to indicate that one idea is less important than another.

  *  Use coordinating conjunctions to separate single words and phrases. These words can be used to form a list within the sentence. This gives for equal separation of emphasis on words in list or group.

  *  Use subordination to give unequal emphasis on phrases, nouns, verbs, etc. Place the major idea in the independent clause and the rest of the ideas in the subordinate clauses or phrases. Use words like, "after," "before," "although," "so that," "when," or "whose."

   *   Use dynamics in your sentences. Don't make all your sentences really short or all of them long. Using a variety makes the paper more interesting. This is something that I continue to work on since you have to be consciously aware of how long your prior sentences were and to frequently break up the monotony.


Overall, this is a reminder of how to clean up the little smudges in my QRG that I might not have thought was wrong or was not aware that I could make my thoughts even more clear.


Reflection 

I commented on Michael's and Chelsea's quick reference guides.

The Clarity reading made me more aware of the grammatically structure of the sentences and little things to critique upon while reading through my piers' QRG's. I saw how important it is to use "a" "an" and "the" when necessary.  The reader shouldn't have to reread a sentence multiple times in order to decipher what the author means.
Example of this error in Chelsea's QRG:
 "According to Kevin Bullis, science writer for MIT technology, carbon can be safely stored deep within the ocean."
Is he "the" science writer or "a" science writer. It also shows his level of importance within the MIT technology department. Is he the only one, or is he one of many.

Using specific language is also important in making sure the reader fully understands what the author is saying. 

"Uber has also dropped around $225,000 lobbying the mayor’s office, picking up some of the most powerful lobbyists they could get."

This becomes a bit wordy. Maybe in one sentence describing the amount they used on lobbyists and then talking about the quality of lobbyists they used.

Thoughts on Drafting

Raccuglia, Julie. "Butterfly and Chrysalises." 7/10/2011 via flickr. Attribution- ShareAlike 2.0 Generic.

In this post, I will be talking about the applications of the textbook, A Student's Guide for First Year Writing, to our quick reference guides. The points the book talks about within essays are:

• Drafting a Thesis Statement
• Writing paragraphs in PIE format
• Writing introductions
• Organizing information
• Writing conclusion.

I will be talking about how the different parts to a normal essay writeup are either incorporated or not into quick reference guides. 

     1)  What parts of the book’s advice on the above bulleted topics are helpful for writing in this   genre?

The Drafting a thesis statement is useful for writing the quick reference guide's introduction. In the introduction, the author must clearly state what the intensions are for the quick reference guide and a general overview of what they  will be discussing. This is the purpose of a thesis statement, but it does not have to be written this exact way in a QRG. The author has more freedom to organize the introduction. 

The writing introductions part was very helpful for me in figuring out how to start my QRG. Oftentimes, the beginning is the hardest part to come up with and the book gave some good ideas about how to draw the reader in. Some of these examples include putting startling facts in the beginning to get the reader curious, or pose an overall question or rhetorical question to the reader. 

The organization information was also helpful because it tells you the relative order of importance and how to structure the ideas in your QRG. It makes you question why you organized the QRG how you did. You have to think about the information like a pyramid. You start with the foundation of the story and build up, including more of the information and detail and adds to the original idea. 

The information about conclusions is also helpful in finishing up my QRG. It makes you think about all the information you have included and what is the main idea of the topic. It helps you get to the root of the controversy. For example, it helps me get to the main controversy of my idea being that is it more important to save a life or follow protocol and keep order in the system. 

       2)   What parts of the book’s advice on these topics might not be so helpful, considering the genre you’re writing in?

The thesis statement is a part of an essay that should not exactly be included in a QRG verbatim.You can include the major points you will get across within the QRG within the first couple introduction paragraphs, but you do not have to make one long sentence that includes your point and your 3 or 4 points you will be getting to. There is a specific format in how to write a thesis statement that is not necessary in a QRG

The paragraphs do not have to be written in PIE format. The paragraphs have to be shorter and understandable while PIE paragraphs can become long and extensive. You want to make sure the point, illustration and explanation get across to the reader, but do not have to be written in one long paragraph. You don't want your reader to be intimidated by the amount they have to read in your guide, but make it easier on the eyes so that it doesn't seem as long. 

This also means that you have to write in a language that the general reader will understand. Often essays bring in more academic language that might pertain well to the topic but might not be well understood by the general reader.    

**Reflection:

After reading through Hallye's blog post, it made me think that even though the paragraphs in a QRG have to be much more concise, they can still have an organization method to them. I still feel using the complete PIEIE formatting can get a bit extensive, maybe keeping the order the same but breaking up the paragraph can be a good idea. 

Cloe's blog reminded me of how I need to focus more on the introduction of my QRG and make a clearer point about what issue I will really be talking about in my QRG. This information is also something I can tie into a conclusion so that the reader sees how the guide went full circle and explained the topic that I originally stated would be explained. 

Three things I now need to work on in my own QRG are:

1) hyperlinking my quotes properly and providing an explanation after them as well, not just before. 

2)  Making my introduction more clear as to my intension of the QRG and the using the conclusion to tie into the introduction and bring the audience back to the main argument.

3) Work on making my controversy centered around a more specific idea, such as an individual story rather than the entire issue. My topic is quite extensive but having too many aspects involved in my QRG can make it more confusing than it needs to be.